Biblical Womanhood, what does that mean exactly? As I pondered this question, it raised many more.
The pursuit of being a Godly woman: what does that look like? Is it measured by the things we do? Things like have a daily devotion, spend time praying, serve in church–in the choir, Sunday school, women’s ministries, soup kitchen, and be on a committee or two–and share Christ with the unsaved? If we are married, does it also mean being submissive to our husband and taking care of the home? And if we are mothers aren’t we responsible for teaching and training our children? Does it mean taking care of the dishes, laundry, changing diapers, cleaning up toys, making meals, bathing and dressing kids, fixing hair, shopping, being a taxi, hosting guests, writing thank you notes and cards, making phone calls and many other things on the daily to do lists? Does it mean giving up our talents, gifts and interests to focus on being a wife, mother and servant in the church and then feel guilty when we don’t do all of these things well?
Looking at the wonderful and perfect Proverbs 31 Woman, the ultimate example of biblical womanhood, it’s hard not to feel this way. We strive to be like this woman because it is what we are “supposed” to do. Isn’t it? That’s what we think. Do we even know what it means to follow after this example? I don’t know about you, but I think for most of us, we are so far from being the kind of woman she was because we aren’t even sure how to live like her or if it is even possible. So where do we fit? What does it really mean to be a biblical woman? How do we figure out what God’s calling is for our lives? How can we attempt this when there are few examples of women that live like this today? These are the kind of questions I’ve been asking myself over the last few years.
In my determination to find answers, I came up against a problem. There are innumerable differing opinions out there on this issue. Which makes it a bit more confusing to understand and then leads me to believe that there are other women who struggle with the same questions and concerns.
The core issue that needs to be looked at first is: that in the pursuit of Godliness we tend to look first to man to see what the latest book, trend, pastor or teacher says. We search and search in hopes of finding a solution. We need to be careful that man is not the first or only place we go to because people interpret the Bible with their own biases and experiences in mind and often our cultural standards skew Scriptural truth. Second, we need to recognize that what we are doing is trying in our own strength to pursue Godliness. If we do not continually go before God and ask for His strength daily, even on a moment by moment basis, we cannot be Godly. We need Him to guide us. He is the one at work in us. (Philippians 1:6) The third issue is that we need to go back to Scripture to find all of the passages that speak to us as women and wives. I know that I have been surprised to find that Scripture is very clear about our roles as women. Passages I knew were there, but are very rarely spoken about or taught on, such as, Eph. 5:22-24, 5:33; Col. 3:18; I Tim. 2:9-15; Titus 2:4-5; I Pet. 3:1-6.
We want to be Christ-like, we want good marriages and great children. We are pursing what is good, but in the pursuit, we often fail to go to and rely on the Source.
I think this is one of the main reasons we women really struggle to know what it means to be a biblical woman. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are many helpful and wonderful books on the market today, and just as many wonderful pastors and leaders, and I am not saying that we can’t read the books or learn from others. We always need to go to the authority of Scripture first and then test what others are saying. We also need to be careful to not just find ourselves looking for the “latest, greatest book” for our solution to how we are supposed to live, as I know I often do.
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