I have missed being apart of the Walk With Him Wednesday community these past 2 weeks. I tried to sit and write, but my heart was too full and I just wasn’t able to do it.
If you all will bear with this simple heart that has been struggling so much. Here is the best I can offer to the community this week.
Ann’s question is about a spiritual practice that has deeply effected my relationship with Christ.
Based upon how the last few weeks have gone around this house of mine…the best answer I have begins here:
We have lost our dear Nonna. We are not grieving well, nor are we handling the changes that her leaving us are bringing to our lives either. Starting with this Wife/Mama.
Instead of sharing my grief and heart with my darling, I have spouted off in anger at him about things that don’t matter in light of eternity. I scourged him with poison darts aimed to hit and hurt. Aimed to keep me from admitting the truth of where my heart was.
Instead of opening my heart and pouring out my grief to my Father in heaven, I have shut up my heart trying to pretend He doesn’t know what is in it.
I have closed my heart to those most important in my life which is not good and has only reaped anger and loneliness. I am such a sinner. My heart is so full of selfishness. The older I get the more I realize that my heart is full of deceit and wickedness.
Oh, foolish woman that I am, will I ever learn?
Repentance.
Truth, the one spiritual practice that keeps me closest to my Savior, is repentance.
Deep, honest, rip-your-heart-open repentance.
It is through repentance that God gives a fresh start. It is through repentance that the facade I have built up can begin to crumble and my heart can find true freedom. Repentance is a major key to having a close relationship with Christ.
Repentance heals.
Heals the breach.
The breach that tore a wide gaping hole into the fabric of the relationship.
His mercies are new every morning!
Just think about that! Really. Can you imagine?
No matter what we have done. No matter how screwed up we are…His love and mercies are new each day. He loves us so much that He offers us a new start every morning. No matter what we feel or how bad it is…He loves us.
He gave us a way out. He provided the sacrifice and all we need to do is repent.
To turn. To cling to Him.
Little Miss and I had a talk about this tonight.
The effects of my sin have passed on to her. She struggled all day today with an attitude that I know she saw in me earlier this week. She was acting just like she saw me act only a few days before today. She mirrored my sin right back to me.
We talked. We prayed. We sang praises to our Savior.
Praises that spoke of our confidence in His Word to us that tomorrow is a new day. A fresh start. Filled with possibilities that we can practice being more Christ-like and not give into our selfish sinful hearts.
Yes, repentance. I can do nothing to be close to Christ without it.
This week’s pondering: What one spiritual practice has most deeply effected your relationship with Jesus?
Photo: Painting by Ron DiCianni, The Sinner, I have loved this painting for years. Used with permission by Tapestry Productions who have exclusive rights.
Repentance is something I frequently need to do. I’m so grateful that our Lord provides 1 John 1:9, our spiritual bar of soap. Nothing hinders our intimacy with God than sin. And yet He provides just what we need, in repentance.
I’m so sorry you lost your Nonna. It’s hard when you love someone and grieving can be exhibited differently. I pray that the Lord would provide the comfort you need.
Blessings,
Debbie
I love that…a bar of soap…I so desperately need it! He is faithful!
Thank you for stopping by.
Trish
Mmmm. I ache with you here. Oh, thank you for putting words to your feelings. Ah, sweet repentance — as you say, nothing sweeter.
You are precious, Trish. May you be blessed as you work through the pain of your grief. I pray now as I write for you, dear one.
Thanks. Useful post! I’ll bookmark your page and check more out later!